The Internet Guide to Cows and Politics
1. Socialism: You have two cows, give one to your neighbor.
2. Communism: You have two cows. Give them to the government. The government gives you milk.
3. Fascism: You have two cows. Give the milk to the government.
4. Nazism: The government shoots you, takes the cows and feeds one to the army and the other to the police.
5. Capitalism: Slaughter the cows; compete with McDonalds.
6. Anarchism: Keep the cows. Steal a few more cows.
7. Conservativism: Milk the cows, embalm the cows, freeze the milk, nuke the cows to keep from spreading the disease. Phase out over five years the amount of milk you’re required to give to the government.
8. Liberalism: Give the milk back to the cows. Let them escape. Put the cows on the Voter Registration list.
9. Libertarianism: Milk the cows and keep it for yourself; hope the populace can find milk elsewhere.
10. Militarism: Shoot the government if they come for your cows.