Old And New Testament History According To Children!
that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head– Christ– (Ephesians 4:14-15 NKJ)
The catechism used to be taught to children. Now, in some of the better seminaries it is learned and memorized by those who would be pastors.
OLD TESTAMENT HISTORY
Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Bottle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical Times.
Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
NEW TESTAMENT HISTORY
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was a taximan.
and lastly. . . . According to the Bible, a Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.