National Physics Contest!
GRAND PRIZE WINNER
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast isdropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose tostrap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinninginches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speedmonorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
#1 If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number ofpickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinitenumber ofhighway signs, they will eventually produce all the world’s great literaryworks in Braille.
#2 Why Yawning is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on youreardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances otherpeople’s ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.
#3 Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have noalphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a fasterrate.
#4 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as afigure skater’s rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in closeto the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spindangerously fast.
#1 Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they arelanding at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.
#2 The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it’seasier to go faster when you’re always going downhill. Besides, they getbetter gas mileage that way.
#3 The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. Ifomitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian “pahks”his “cah” the lost r’s migrate southwest, causing a Texan to “warsh” his carand invest in “erl wells”.